This pic was taken in July at my brother's friend's wedding.. It was a great night.. Best time I've had in a long time.. Lots of laughs.. I was around 120kgs - similar to what I am now.. SOOOO looking forward to getting to goal and getting all dolled up.. will be much more fun than now - dressing up mutton as lamb... A lot of people have commented on my photo, saying how much they like it... Imagine the amount of people that will comment on my pics when I have lost 50kgs!

PERSONAL TRAINING..

Has been a little while since I posted last.. Been extremely busy in the past month... Work is finally over.. I didn't get the permanent position that I spoke of previously - a long term part time Teacher from another Institute.. After I had spoken to a few long term employees I did not expect to get the job as I have only been there 3 years.. I am extremely happy though because I have been placed on the eligibility list for any positions that may come up in the next 6 months.. My application and performance at the interview were no up to scratch.. made it difficult not knowing what to expect - should have done my homework.. anyways, happy...

I have started Personal Training - I have a Personal Trainer... One of my colleagues is a Personal Trainer and I asked him a 3 weeks ago if he could recommend anyone......And to date I have had 4 sessions with him.. I started last Wednesday.. I am doing 2 x 1hr sessions each week.. It is fantastic.. a little painful but great.. Food & Exercise Plan is included.. It's great cause PT gives me the push I need.. In the past I have given up too easily.. Now when I try to give up I have someone telling me that I can do it and encouraging me to keep going.. Even on other days I have to do other exercising.. PT messages me to keep me in check and see how I am feeling from the session.. I weighed in and measured yesterday - I have lost 800g and 4cm..considering it is that time of the month I am pleased.. Personal Training is not cheap but it is worth every cent.. It is going to take me about a year to get to goal but I can already feel the changes - I have so much more energy it is amazing.. my shape is also changing.. it's great reaping the rewards already, but can't wait til a little more time passes... it's exciting just thinking about it.. By the time I go back to work in February there should be some noticeable change..

STILL NO NEWS...

Well my phone never rang with a call to say "You've got the job".. People keep asking and I am getting a little frazzled.. Will feel so much better when I know either way.. If I got it..fantastic and if not..short lived disappointment and then get on with it..

If I don't hear anything next week.. if I got it or someone else I will give the boss a call and ask..

WILL I GET IT?

I am waiting to hear if I have been selected for a permanent position at work.. They said I will find out by the end of November.. We are almost at the end of November.. I hope I get the position but if I don't get it I hope it goes to the best person for the job.. I know that they checked my references but that may be as I have been placed on an eligibility list, so that didnt get my hopes up..

I know that I will still have work next year but permanency means security and paid holidays for about 12 weeks a year..

Tomorrow is the last working day of November so will keep you posed if I receive any news...

MANY WANTS..

I am here and doing WW cause I really want to succeed this time. The lowest weight I have been in the past 10 years is 109kgs.. Before I fell pregnant with my daughter in 1998 I was about 90kgs.. I have always been overweight but looking back 90kgs is where I'd love to be again.. During my pregnancy I stacked on about 30kgs and then struggled from then on.. Here I am 10 years later wondering why I waited so long..

My weight has really weighed me down for far too long.. it has impeded on so many aspects of my life that it is ridiculous.. I don't want to be the one sitting in the corner watching anymore.. I just want to start living life..

I am the point where I really want to meet someone and settle down and have another child.. My daughter will be 10 in February.. You know the song "Be careful what you wish..you might just get it".. Since my daughter was born I would joke that she would be 10 when I have another child.. and that might just happen.. Well I hope anyways.. I feel like it is about time excitement filled my life in more ways than one...

I was with my daughter's father for almost five years.. It was more down than up.. but through it all I learned so much about myself and what I want in life and deserve.. I went through some awful experiences that I have no doubt impacted on my self-esteem and weight gain and inability to lose weight even until recent times.. We married in 2001 and separated 9 months later after I worked out he was having an affair.. I left him.. I divorced him in 2003.. I lost weight after I left him and that's when I got down to my lowest..

I started seeing a guy from early 2005-end 2006.. He weighed about 160kgs and loved his food.. I had many failed attempts at weight loss during this time and again found myself ballooning out of control.. After I left him at the end of 2006 I was 145kgs and lost about 30kgs and then gained some through a multitude of depressive moments wondering if I will ever find someone that will truly love my daughter and I.. I also went through some ups and downs meeting the wrong types of guys.. I met so many that were married that wanted a bit on the side or just after one thing.. I am an emotional being and these things along with others took their toll on my self-esteem and weight gain closely followed...

WEEK 1

I started back at Weight Watchers on Wednesday 19th November. I was doing shakes but just got so sick of the shakes and eating like a sparrow so decided I would return to WW for the 52nd time..lol.. Not quite that many, but I have been a few times before.

My highest weight would have been approximately 150kgs... I was 123.1 when I weighed in last week.. After weighing in this week I lost 1.7kgs bringing me down to 121.4kgs.. I wasn't very happy with the loss 'cause I have done heaps better on Week 1 of other attempts.. but then Aunt Flo turned up today so fluid retention was most probably responsible for the less than expected loss.. I know.. A loss is a loss is a loss and all that...