GOALS

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2013 will be awesome.. It's the year I will take charge of my health, fitness, happiness & future..

My goals are to do a minimum of 365 hours of exercise & to lose a minimum of 52 kilos.. SMART goals.. I will JFDI!!

NEW YEAR'S EVE!

Well it's New Year's Eve.. Thankfully! 2012 proved to be rather challenging.. I started the year off well dropping a few kilos but my eldest was unwell with anxiety @ issues at school & I fell off the wagon in a big way.. I jumped back on the wagon a few times but could only remain aboard for short spurts..

I was doing well with being wheat free.. I was wheat free more than a week when we had Christmas & wheat filled delicacies so of course I fell off the wagon & found it difficult to pick myself up....

Until today! Today is a great day to brush myself off & climb aboard! It may be New Year's Eve but that's great! I want to bring in the New Year with a bang so to speak!

I have felt so unwell this past week with all the wheat I have eaten.. But still I continued... Wheat is a drug of addiction!! As I lay here in my bed I feel soooo bloated... My legs/ groin are chafing at the top which I haven't had for a long time.. My feet are very painful.. My head feels yuck... I feel very depressed... I just want to be happy.. I want the weight gone forever!

I only have 3 weeks til I go back to the Clinic.. My goal is to be at least 6 kilos lighter than I was when I was there last time..

I must start exercising 1 hour per day... Every day & eating clean... I CAN DO IT!!I WILL DO IT!!

5 DAYS WHEAT FREE

As I type it is the start of day 6 of being wheat free : )

I feel A LOT better than I have for a while.. The withdrawals weren't pleasant... I had pain all over my body especially at my joints, tingling sensations in hands & arms.. Pins & needles I'm feet.. Headaches which are still hanging around.. No wonder they liken wheat to heroin! Also I'm coming off sugar too so that's another opiate to add to the withdrawals!!

I don't have any cravings for anything!!!!! I don't even really feel like eating! 2 nights ago I was extra hungry but I ate compliant foods : )

I feel less bloated which is nice.. My undies fit!! That's a big sign.. I wore a pair yesterday that I wouldn't normally because they are not shape wear but I felt fine in them.. No wedgies which I would normally get from them being on the small side!

I'm looking forward to weighing myself to see the difference!

I started exercising again yesterday.. I walked for over an hour.. After the first 1/2 hour I was going to quit cause it was so hot in the sun but I pushed right through it : )

My Plan!!

Well I had a plan a few years back to combine personal training with life coaching to inspire people through my own life experience as well as education.. I completed my life coaching qual a few years back... My fitness study began in 2009 at the same time I was working hard on my fitness... I made some progress & then I fell pregnant so my fitness & the study took a back seat.. I'm excited about the fact that I've actually finished my fitness certificate.. Just waiting for my certificate... I did attempt to complete my cert after my daughter was born but didn't pass my final assessment & was turned off by my teacher that told me that I don't fit the ideal for a personal trainer.. That was damaging but I decided to withdraw as I'm a teacher myself & knew how inappropriate she was... So I finally put in to be given recognized prior learning through work... And have finally had it all processed.. WOOHOO!!

Have been doing some thinking this week about the year ahead and my plans in general... I really want to make fitness part of my life to help me maintain my fitness once gained... Soooooo I've decided to keep working towards my goal as above mentioned.. The plan is to study Diploma of Life Coaching (Health & Wellness), Diploma of Fitness, Certificate IV in Massage Therapy, Heal Your Life Train the Trainer... I want to have a holistic approach to assisting people to achieve their goals!! I'm excited & can't wait to get started!!

I started studying Diploma of Mental Health & AOD a while ago but came to a stand still as I already have post graduate degrees in social science & worked in the field for a number of years so not enjoying that study... I need to do what I'm passionate about moving forward : )

Next Appointment... Holidays.... Time to kick butt!!

Ok.. So I'm on holidays for 6 weeks!! Yay!! That means that I must make these 6 weeks count.. There are no excuses!! I have to do it... Get on a roll..

My next appointment was scheduled for 29/1 at the Clinic... However I received a letter today saying that my appointment has been changed to 22/1 meaning that I have 6 weeks not 7 til my appointment... Even more reason why the next 6 weeks are for kicking butt.. When I step on those scales in 6 weeks I want there to be a decrease... And want my measurements to also be less..

So basically the plan is to be eat wheat free & exercise 1 hour per day! It starts tomorrow : ) I ate my chocolates tonight that I received today as I don't believe I should deprive myself especially at this time of year!!

Obesity Clinic

I spoke to my Dr back in October about needing to lose weight.. She suggested I go to the Obesity Clinic....

So here I am... Sitting in the weighting room (lol)... Ive seen the Dr already... I saw him 11 years ago but wasn't able
to continue because of work so here I am again!! Things have changed.. Times are tough.. They don't have an exercise physiologist or psychologist at the moment.. So I got a referral from the Dr to see a psychologist here at the hospital.. Trying my best to cover all areas.. I want to beat my emotional eating once & for all.. I want to be fit & healthy... I want to make fitness, healthiness & most importantly happiness part oft life.. I want to use my Personal Training & Life Coaching qualifications as well as life experience to inspire others..

Sooooo... I'm waiting to see the dietitian next... Will be interesting to see what she tells me I should be eating..

Chocolates & Water!

I was given a lovely gift today.. A yummy box of lindt chocolates... I thought about giving them away so that I wouldn't eat them but decided to enjoy them instead : )

The problem with having chocolate is it made me very hungry!! I think this hunger was made worse by the fact that I didn't drink enough water today.. I only had about 1.8L... Not nearly enough do I list endeavor to drink my 3.9L everyday to avoid feeling 'fake' hunger..

So I now have 1000 calories to burn... My plan was to train tonight but my belly is sore now after consuming lots of stuff!! I'm done now with the binge!! Back in track from tomorrow.. Not going to beat myself up over this! I'm only human! I am doing really well having lost 4kgs in 10 days..

Truth is I'm a bit pissed off about the whole Wayne episode.. I just want some intimacy. I just want to have a special someone.. I have waited so long for love.. My weight has held me back... But I have also sabotaged my efforts so it's been a catch 22... Now I've reached the point where I want to lose the weight and re -gain my confidence! I'm gonna JFDI!!

Wayne No More!

Well after thinking that Wayne was sick or something being the reason he hadn't responded to my msgs.. I decided to investigate whether he was back online & sure enough he is! He was online 7 hours earlier.. I messaged him & said I wished he was upfront with me about his disinterest.. Wished him well in finding the woman of his dreams.. Thanked him for the motivation to get my fitness back.. Said Goodbye & Good luck.. Then I deleted his number from my phone!!! I deserve sooooooo much more than being treated like that!! I don't want to be anyone's option.. I want to be a priority! I feel empowered!!

Wayne!

I met Wayne online in about July.. That was the 2nd time we had chatted online.. we chatted for a couple of months before he disappeared suddenly one day.. I missed him because we got on so well & I really didn't know what happened! I continued to chat to other guys & then about a month later Wayne returned.. He said that he had had enough of the online dating scene & had only returned to give me his details.. He gave me his personal & work number & 2 email addresses.. We then started corresponding by SMS & I randomly asked him if was a scout when he was younger & to my surprise he was... He was in my brothers troop & remembered going to a camp with my brother.. We both enjoyed contact.. At times he would be distant & tell me he was going thru a stressful time at work & his ex was playing games..

We decided we should meet.. We arranged for early October & then he had to go to Melbourne for work & then he went through a difficult time at work.. So the Universe answered mg prayer by delaying our meeting as I was feeling very self conscious & fat!

We ended up meeting on 10th November. I almost chickened out as I was having a very down day & also very nervous about meeting anyone at 130kgs!! He was lovely about it & said it was up to me.. We ended up meeting.. He picked me up from the front of my villa complex.. He was out of the car.. When I walked over to him he said "I don't know what you were worried about!"... Phew!! We ended up at Manly Beach.. We had fish & chips by the water ' went for a walk & had ice cream.. The whole time he was flirting big time.. I really liked him.. He was just like I expected him to be.. When we arrived back to the front of my place around 11.30 he left the headlights on & I asked if he wanted to get rid of me in a hurry & he said no.. We sat & make small talk & started touching each other on the hands.. He gave me a hand & arm massage which was awesome.... And then he kissed me... That was awesomer!!! We didn't want to leave each other.. Just after midnight I left him as my sister was looking after my kids..

The next day I messaged him in the afternoon to thank him for a good night.. I heard from him a few times that week.. He seemed ok but distant compared to the lead up when he messaged me every morning & then throughout the day..

So here I am 2 weeks later.. He hasn't asked me out again.. Just lots of jokes about seeing each other fir some fun.. haven't heard from him since Thursday..

I messaged him on Friday & no response.. I messaged him yesterday asking how he is.. No response.. I know what my next move needs to be.... Silence.. I need to play hard to get.. And see what happens..

I get soooo frustrated with men! I've lost count of the number I've met over the years.. And here I am, single!!! I know my behavior has a lot to do with it but doesn't excuse their behaviour.. Time to take charge & play this one differently as I would usually by now say goodbye & try to get in first before I get dumped in a heap.. Not playing that this time.. Psychic told me that we will be together before Christmas & that he would be distant again after we met.. a few other things he said rang true also.. His last words were "don't mess it up!".... Soooo here I am trying desperately not to mess it up!!!!

DAY 4... Workout done!!!

It's not even 6.30am & my workout is done!!!!!! Feels awesome to have it done so early... And feels awesomer after working out... I love MB's Weight Bar Workout! I can already feel my fitness improving & it's only day 4!

On Day 2 I used 3kg on either side... Today I used 5kg either side & did really well.. Looking forward to DOMS!

DAY 3..

Still going strong despite the headache that I've had for the past 2 days..

Haven't worked out today as yet.. I'm realising that workout is best done in the morning but my sleep was much needed as I had a few trips to loo overnight!!

DAY 1.... DONE!

Day 1 is done! Workout done early this morning.. Eaten according to plan all day! Cheering! Dinner was awesome!

POST DAY 1 WORKOUT PIC!

Thought I would add a post workout pic.. I plan on adding heaps of pics throughout.. Great motivation for myself & others : )

DAY 1- WORKOUT DONE!

YAY!! It's Day 1!! YAY!! My workout is done! I did Cardio Kicker & dissolved 486 calories.. WOOHOO!! It wasn't that hard after all this time!! I feel great now the workout is done!!

KICK OFF IS ALMOST HERE!!

I'm excited as 12wbt kicks off tomorrow! Looking forward to the journey.. Will be blogging my way through the next 12 weeks : )

ALMOST A YEAR SINCE....

Well, another year has almost past & here I am posting my first post this year!

I have done a lot of soul searching this year.. Have finally confirmed that weight loss is a head game!